Where is my passion?

It's called being fond of it, a particular liking towards something, one you could get up for at any hour of the day and do, also nicknamed passion.. Have you found yours? What does it say to you? How do you behave with it? Or are you still finding it? I ask myself these questions, because I haven't found mine, yeah that passion.. What could I poasibly get up and want to do at 3am? Oh yeah there was tennis, but life smashed the racket on me.. It's great not finding your passion, it's magnificent knowing morning in life, but it's also good to do what you like doing, and if you love it. Hey there's your passion! There's a reason why we all don't know what we want to achieve in life, it's the same question. Where's my passion? Don't try to hard to find it, it will come to you someday, and If it doesn't, do whatever you feel like, just like you were before reading this piece today.. 

Just be..

Time and tide, they waited for no man, but ironic that we do right? We wait for that tide when we sit by the sea, and for a time that would bring in that wave of glee.. Crazy is the mind, the mind is everywhere, everywhere you see people, people are crazy, so not rare.. The early morning face and the face before you sleep, do you see a difference between them? They speak about your day that's been dirty or neat.. Some fake that face, some genuinely smile, some cry without any reason, some feel misery is by their side.. Reality, are you afraid of it? Don't be, it makes you who you are.. Face the downfall, face the downpour, stand in that rain, drench it out like never before.. Cry and laugh everyday, you can't be static all your life, be like the night and day.. Just be.. 

I'm a liar.

Script in front, the camera behind, this life of action, short lived and how.. How you masquerade from yourself to another, you have so many people inside you, doesn't it bother?.. Astonishing acts, some bitter, some butter, some sweet, some neat.. Like an owl one has to feel the space around, think 360, cry and laugh out loud.. But I'm cheating you, and I get paid for it, but I also try to be myself, that's where you like me in it.. An actor does what he has to, and he takes you into a world that never exists, and you live the life that you saw through.. The cup of lemon tea lies untouched, insee the vapours rising up, rising up.. As I put that mask on and leave for a take, il brb, to who I am, till then, I'm liar, being real while I fake ;) 

Be that crazy ball.

Key chains lie, some funky some fly, wires hanging, like the shaheed and patriotism singing.. Mohabaat echoing out loud, can you feel it, can you feel it? They don't want to come back, let them not, love never dies, take it along to your heaven or hell, like that tight knot.. Spunge yourself in flavour, life's glittering with a lot outside, cherish what happened, and what happened had to happen.. It's a cycle, life's the bigger subject, it's the breathing cycle, sometimes you have to choke and sometimes you have to breathe.. Yoga may teach you a lot, so would art of living, but what's the point when learning is something you've given up? One life, many reasons to fall, and many more reasons to give up, but hey take it easy, No pressure should build up.. Breathe, that's all, don't be your own tar, one fucking life, be a crazy ball.. Fly. 

Key.

Bloom goes the flower, boom goes the stoner, vroom goes the vehicle, tune goes the music.. What's on your mind? There's so much, there can't be nothing on your mind, that's a lie, a holy lie.. Shout now, build up, blow up, puke.. Be the water boiling and flow out when you can't take it anymore, and each time you do take it out, fill again because this cycle is what keeps you knocking at the door.. The door to sanity, where inanity also has to prevail, but it can watch you blow, and be a friend behind your tail.. Slap yourself if you want, don't slap another, or blood would greet your top.. Bloom like that flower, boom like a stoner and break the chains of constant, fuck constant, fuck it hard.. Motion, it's all about motion, body motion, loose motion, booty motion, hand, leg, eye, and it all.. Move, just move, be the key.. 

You're colour.

Rainbow sky, and those secrets, dark clouds hovering, and about to vomit that rain.. You're just like that cloud, clear and dark, brimming with emotion and empty like that field of grass.. Spit out the emotion, be the rain and fall, you droplet so majestic, let the floor feel you now.. Don't find shelter in darkness, and not even the light, let there be imperfections aplenty, just breathe, you'll find some respite.. It's a short life, that midget gets insecure, don't do what you're meant to, do what you want to somehow.. They will come and they will go, you stay forever, you're gold, you're gold.. Even if you're standing alone under that dark cloud, you're not alone, not alone.. That day I read her eyes, they showed me myself and more, that one image got me trembling and helpless, and then she blinked and we walked off, but the roads were different.. On that road you will only bump into you, greet yourself, smile and catch your hand.. Have yourself boy and girl, because they never stay, and life suddenly feels grey.. But hey there's color  lying somewhere, you just need to get up, stare and pick it up and throw it all out in the sky, REMEMEBER you're holi, masquerade yourself with color, and the world will smile.. 

She, the only chapter.

The marble floor shining like it does, the ceiling glaring down as he lay flat on his bed, both trying to find out the face behind the mask, but he gets up, those eyes, they're red.. Red with love, red with lov, red with lo, red with I.. Red .. Just red! Walking out of the door, that mask back on him, covered in that helmet, scorching the streets loud, he rides through those holes where she stood like that smiling cloud.. Stop and start, and start and stop, the order of his life, where is that knife? He finished that day, came home to face the ceiling and the marble, they saw him pull out something from his chest suddenly, that knife that killed him slowly, but it's stuck, it's stuck.. It's going back in, it wants to stay there, that ache won't ever go, it won't ever go.. An incomplete chapter with her, he feeds himself those memories, her face embedded deeper than your wound, she heals him and kills him at the same time.. That night he didn't blink at all, and the ceiling spoke to him, that lump in the throat, the ceiling cracked and a droplet fell.. It was rain trying to wipe awaken that face, but even the rain couldn't make him blink, he lay there both ceiling and marble trying to find out the face behind the mask.. Today morning he left, and that knife placed well inside, bleeding little by little, he hopes to survive.. He hopes to survive.. Scorching the streets again, he stops and stares where she stood that day, he can't see her, but he can see her.. He's changed, changed for the good, he never read a single line ever, but he read that chapter named after her, and saw life and love smile and tatter, smile and tatter.. She.. 

Who is he?

There was a boy, a brave boy, who took on the world,
There was a boy, didn't get all he wanted, and his wants died,
There was a boy, facing the storm, and reaching the shore safely,
There was a boy, who kept wandering, with no destination, wirelessly..

He had dreamS, and not a dream because he wanted to conquer,
He had the energy, the grit, the power within to make winning occur,
He never slept, never got up, kept dreaming about all that he dreamt off,
He always stood by his people, and spoke only when they were tired with that speaing cough..

Never asked for more, he was always content with little,
Never gave up trying, and if he did, he tried hard to nail that shuttle,
Never looked down upon whoever came his way,
Never asked for help, he was raw, he was scripting his own play..

Always wanted to love, and make the world happy,
Always took care, nurtured, and if you created a mess, he'd gladly clean all that was crappy,
Always had an eye for big things, but circumstances made him stop somehow,
Always fed the world when he got a chance and went to places in search for solace and how..

They said he kept trying, and maybe will keep trying even if he has nothing, and also that he looks at everyone of you, and tells you a story everytime you meet him.

Who was he, or who is He?
Is he you?
Is he me?
Is he GOD?


Don't search really hard for answers, because life's a journey, and you're maybe better if those answers remain unanswered

Light myself a match stick.

This bulb has illuminated the darkness tonight, it's yellow, jaundice would be nullified.. Spinning apart from my head is what's giving me that air, the fan up there, the white fan up there.. That curtain designed with leaves that smile weirdly, telling me not to be wary, because we're shaking to bring you the glee.. This couch has been exploiting it everyday, it lies stable, only to be heavily disturbed my a jumping me.. Earphones shoved in, the song singing, the beats banging, echoing a note that's chattering.. Chattering a story which the nervous system has been trying to decipher, but the answer remains unknown, for the minds peace, for the storm to not reach.. Not reach where it's supposed to, because when it destroys, It doesn't think humanly, and kills itself killing the world like a troy.. And the lights go off, the bulb fuses out, the leaves don't smile, the fan strays on, and I sit in this darkness, and light myself a match stick..

She, the liquid to my thirst.

Left home to taste the journey, had no idea I would ever get off somewhere, always kept the head still and looked straight, but something made me drop the level by a few inches.. That something was quite where I wanted to stop, and gaze like that child would to his pop, that something was a beautiful sight, with those eyes she could be my cigarettes light.. Was I meant to assemble myself at that one place like really now, an answer that I find up above the clouds, as I take off leaving behind that destination, she stares back at me.. Being a risk taker I would jump off and run back to her, so I do just that and she cries like a queen does when she positions a heir.. And she helps me bring in more oxygen to my lungs, removing the stains of doubt I carry in chose chunks, her face melts into my soul like that ice, and she's liquid to my thirst, she's the shade I need from the sun.. Pure like the child who cries without thinking, elegant like that gown on the aisle well sparkling, the window to the inmate in jail, the eye to that dawn, she's my bail.. So you destination, you know who you are, you've finally made me stop, and look back only to you again.. So make me thirsty and make me come and drink, because you're the liquid to my thirst, you're my bling..

Where are you color?

Bottle standing still in front of me, the water shivering within, what's causing this tragedy? The yellow bulb above utilizing it's capacity, can see the water crying, what an apathy! The blue T shirt flutters under the fan at level 5, the bed still, the pillows crumpled like that creamie pie.. The bathroom door, half open, and tile shining, shining due to the light from a room falling nicely, falling nicely.. My feet thinking about where to place themselves, restlessness within, the body freezing and melting, a mess? .. My walls are colored, and they're emitting an energy the room needs, but the water keeps shivering like fever made me plead.. Plead to stop heating the soul inside, I'm giving out the energy, and absorbing some color of my wall.. Doing injustice to my wall, by using it's energy and letting it go, the color turns black, and the water is over.. And boom I'm up, dreaming for the first time in my life, and I get up and leave, I run, into that colorful cloud..

Tu Napunsak Nahi, Sher hain..

The word stop is applicable for signals, danger zones, and? The word stop comes into the picture when you have had enough, and? And WHY have you had enough? WHY should it be applicable for you? .. You stop you're boring, you stop you're clearly snoring.. You're asked about life and what you're doing with it, the reason you may not have an answer for that is because you've stopped dreaming.. My next line is going to maybe get you to ponder, so tell me, are you confused or are you sorted there after? I hope you're confused because you can never stop hence forth, this stopping na bhenchoddd makes life monotonous and boring, yes it chokes.. Risk it, quit your job for whatever you want to do, and it's perfect to be unsure, we aren't meant to live finely after all na dude? .. Kiss the life falling into place goodbye, and risk into anything that makes that heart beautifully cry.. Don't stop, just don't, even the Indians don't when the signals red, and also the boys and girls when they find each other hot.. Do whatever you want, it could be a vacation, a dick, a cunt, a getaway, a job, a surprise, do anything, because life's not stopping so why are you pausing? Don't rewind, don't pause, let it just play, and those tunes will give you answers boss.. Soch mat, Bas karte reh, kyunki tu naapunsakkk nahi, tu sher Hain re.

Hey, I am Mind.

The light is dim, the yellowness fogging the room, this mirror in front, black frame reflecting, zoom.. The mind is sitting and staring into nowhere, everywhere stand questions, answers lying naked, but where? Feet settled, script unsettled, bag open, leaking out is light again, it's unknown.. What is this light? Why is this light? Answers again, lying naked but where? The mind is ruthless, clueless, yet stable, yet crazy.. It sees itself in the mirror, it looks fine, it tries to peep within, FUCK why can't it find? Find answers to questions, find words in a dictionary kept tidy? Question marks cyclone this read, it's the mind that you yourself cannot read, but it's ironic, that it's feeding on itself, decomposing, composing, hey greed.. Glee, choke, misery, apathy, beauty, it sees it all, but the answers for its calmness, are lying naked somewhere, but where? You don't need the perfect mind, nothing is perfect, and it's not meant to be, if it is, answers come easy, is that what you need? This commotion is deeper than the Atlantic down there, but in this lies this one word answer, again lying naked, but it's there.. Content. It's going on, rustling, noisy, clapping, tapping, smiling, but content.. Love, a magical wand, sometimes you need to keep it aside to pull out a strand, where the answers lie naked, as they cling on to the strand, slowly you're pulling it out, and there, here they lie naked, sleeping like an instrumental song.. Let them sleep for now, when they get up, they will talk, and give you back to the world you belong.. The restless mind, the noisy nerves, they're rubbing against each other and creating a tune, of which only the body feels.. Hey, I'm the mind in the mirror, and I'm waiting for the answers to Wake up.. Till then, the yellow light has promised me not to fuse, and told me not to lose..

And today she's a life with no song... #Peshawarattack

Ek raat pehle woh sula rahi thi usko, bade pyaar se haath sela rahi thi usko, uski favorite kavita suna rahi thi usko, apne dil ko sukoon ka pyala pila rahi thi woh Khudko. Maa hain woh, pyaar ki na keemat na uska tol koi kar pata, lekin agle din Jo hua, uski gunj be zindagi ko mar dala.. She : "Okay come home now, it's time for dinner, Aa Jau jaan ghar Aa Jau jaldi, nahi masti nahi, beta kal school jaana Hain na".. He/she : " Nahi ammi kal nahi, thandi Hain aur Mujhe Khelna Hain, homework kal karunga/karunga ammi".. And she tickled her blood one last time as she got them back home, they sitting nicely, waiting for food to be served," Ammi kal tiffin mein Mujhe kheer dena, Mera favorite aur mere doston ko bhi pasand Hain. Ammi khaana do bhoook lagi Hain", and she serves them like blood serves the heart, a duty, but beyond that, to keep herself alive, they were her mirror, which made her shine like the night kite.. And they sleep beautifully while she watches them breathe one last time, what did she know, tomorrow would be a different bed, they buried, they swept away like that tide.. Every breath they miss, she frowned that night, she didn't sleep easy and woke up with a sound, the alarm rang strangely that day, she gave it a thought, but never mind, "Chalo uth Jao, school jaana Hain, Chalo Chalo Chalo and she kisses them like the rain kisses the ground.. The daughter looks pretty with the bow attached, her uniform cutely worn, frock like, moms princess is all set to detach.. Pony tails two, hair oiled and face wiped with some powder, her heart never felt that tender ever, what a sight.. Her boy with that soldier cut, young and brave, wanting to share the kheer with his friends, his socks up high, she tucks his uniform into his shorts neat and fair, tying his shoe laces his water bottle overflowing with water, just like her heart, when she even let's them away for a days quarter.. And she goes back and looks at the both of them, stares like a mother would, they're her oxygen, her skin, her follicle of hair.. Deep rooted in her, she suddenly breaks with the noise of the bus and they run and she sees them one last time, with energy aplenty, they run, they run.. ANDDDD.. It's afternoon as she switches channels on TV, her heart skips a beat, she shrinks like that leech.. Those eyes cry a river, as she screams and runs to where they were shot, children lie like bullets in a desert, unmoved, bloody and out.. She sees them both, who she readied for school today, "ammi kal school nahi jaana Hain" these words ringing like that bell in her brain.. Motionless, she stands, emptiness brimming up, numb hands, numb hands.. She falls like that pin, besides those two, howls like organs getting pulled out of her she has no clue, on what happened and why do they lie here, but they do, bloody, dirty and soulless.. She holds the daughter in her arms, adjusts her bow, and yells out loud, the son can hear it, oh he can, but he's not getting up, someone wake him up, someone for god sake wake them up!!!!!!! They're my children, they're my air, you took away my swords and now I lie lifeless like a soul with no chords.. She buried them besides each other just the way they were twins born, her cradle cracked that day, and today she's life with no song.. ( On a personal note I cannot imagine what went through their minds, and I can never reach there, but the agony is uncalculative )

Ride Solo.

These years fly by, and you hope to change with them, but what if you don't, will they stay by your side? Tunes hitting my ears, the grill outside my window, shining under that sun, the grass smiling below.. It's a road alone, the road to I don't know what, but I'm riding solo, pillion is my bag, and we take off.. To places where I get answers to questions galore, deeper insights into life, the nun and a whore.. These words once spoken, come back only to you, I don't know about the rocket here, but science would justify it indeed.. Reflecting back, you track, with that sack, but nothing like lying back.. And staring into nowhere, the slow motion of the sky, the stars shining like shampooed hair dyed.. You're alone on this surface, and also once you're in heaven or hell, but here's where you can prove your mettle, do it for yourself, because they won't understand you well.. Leave them behind and run after yourself, and if you fall, kiss the ground and crawl.. You would come to yourself one day, and when you do, smile back to them and say, " Thank you, you let me go, intentionally or not, but I found myself without a doubt. There's a crazy time waiting for me you know, and I can only conquer that if I ride solo".. Do you see yourself being the best? They do. Do you see yourself being the worst? They do. They do because they're winners after losers, and winners only by virtue of taking off alone.. These emotions tie us down, just like bamboo skinned out, so loose they could fall.. E- motions are like motions, but you emit them through your eyes, look up buddy, just once that's all, they call you, the skies.. Fly alone, leave them behind, break lose, and go discover your worthy land.. Bask there, and lay down again, the stars will shine on you, because you pushed harder than you trained.. Get up and leave, answers are right there, but ride solo, because you're not meant to be shared.. #fly

Bread always needs Butter.

April sky, swimming kid, that chai, green grass, feet mast, life fast.. The green I stare Into does give me a high, not smoking this green, but absorbing it makes me want to fly.. And land back here, and do the same, this child in me, can it be tamed? Trees emitting beauty, the flowers smile, the pool shines, and the birds fly by.. Steady weather, the light breeze circling my ear, the sun cutting through those leaves, vacation, you should be life's ordeal.. Soak the moments, sit like that chair, lay down like the mat, and stare into nowhere.. Life's a pipe using you to water its discoveries, cut open, jump around and dive into mystery.. Let everything not unfold, let each lesson be unread, let that book never get over, breathe baby, that's your bread.. Stroke the mind lightly with a brush, flow smooth, and don't let color clutter, breathe gently as you cover white into vibgyor, because remember that bread always butter..